An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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