I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
