sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
