Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
