she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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