You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
