The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
