"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
