hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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