So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
