One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
