he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
