Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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