You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
