Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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