Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
