You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
