once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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