He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The air taste purple.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
