matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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