drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
sick fucks of a feather flock together
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
NoShamevember. You game?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I enjoy the company of your penis
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