Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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