if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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