but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
