During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
