why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
