I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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