I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
