my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
