Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
