why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
