Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
