Dual....:-)
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
