He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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