mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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