At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
