i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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