Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
