I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
His nipple licking is glorious
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