she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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