I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
