Betty ford says i'm here all night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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