She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
