In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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