i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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