I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
