so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
