...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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