Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
