What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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