I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
